CHUCK NORRIS JOKES!! Which is the funniest?...XD

-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

-If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.

-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

-Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

-Q: What's 30 times Chuck Norris?
A: Oblivion.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

-Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

-If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

-If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

-There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

-Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

-Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

And this batch from legionmate Salysta:

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

-Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Post here if you find more Chuck Norris jokes you enjoyed

- Chuck Norris does not need to work, he kidnaps for ransoms

- If your friend says Chuck Norris run, that name is copyrighted for death upon it

- Q: Would you rather be Jay Leno? or one of the jonas brothers?
- A: Neither, Chuck already got to them

- If pii = Chuck Norris, nothing would be working cuz it would be killing us all

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.

one time Chuck Norris kicked a mcdonalds so hard......it turned into a burger
king

osama bin laden would turn himself in if he found out CHUCK NORRIS was president

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

When Chuck Norris plays video games, he has unlimited lives.

Aliens do Exist. they're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack us.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.

When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.

Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse.

Chuck Norris can dribble a football.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

ohh here is one i made up allll by myself- bc i gotz a really shiny light bulb

There is no endangered species list - bc we are all in danger of extinction from Chuck Norris

yes I am good :

Out of the recent posted Chuck Norris jokes, these are my personal favorites that made my day

- If pii = Chuck Norris, nothing would be working cuz it would be killing us all

- Aliens do Exist. they're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack us.

- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. (HAHAHHAA)

- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"